David Shams

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Expat Observations: Oh you’re Iranian, let me tell you about it

A snap shot from a rural mountainous village in Iran.

One of three things happens when white folks find out I’m Iranian-American. It’s like clockwork, and I can usually predict people's responses just by looking at them. I’ve gotten so used to them that I’m disappointed when my assumptions are disproven.

There are folks whose brains short-circuit and simply can’t find the words to respond to the profound revelation that I am the son of an immigrant from the Axis of Evil. They’ll typically mutter an “Oh” or something akin to it and then stare blankly for several seconds before turning and walking away. This group almost always comes from one of two populations. They’re either rural folks who haven’t experienced a level of diversity where my situation could be possible or die-hard urban liberals who may be aware of the potential variation in human existence but too good to be caught in league with us.

The second group can respond, but they almost always have ready-made talking points from conservative media or some innocent Islamophobia masked by liberal outrage. Once, I was at a gathering for an event hosted by a friend of a friend. The host's uncle cornered me after he found out I was Iranian. It was around the time after the implementation of the JCPOA but before being torn apart. “Can we trust them?” He asked, sneering, nearly spitting it all out. “I don’t know, can they trust us?” I replied as I shrugged my shoulders. He didn’t like that too much.

The last group is more pleasant and ready to engage with the variations of human experience. They’ve read a few things about Iran, traveled there, had a friend who did, or know an actual Iranian. But their tiny bit of knowledge isn’t enough to stop them from pontificating about the place as if they’re experts. What’s that saying about information–know a tiny bit, and you think you’ve got a Ph.D., read a lot about a topic, and realize you know fuck all. Well, these folks firmly fall into the former category.

There is a small minority of folks who don’t fall into any of these categories. These are the people who have advanced degrees in the topic, journalists who’ve covered the region and can speak intelligently about the nuances without naivete, or those who can sit with the discomfort of being around people who aren’t like them. This last group just takes in the experience and asks questions knowing whatever responses they get may not wholly answer their inquiry.

In this phenomenon, white folks (and it is almost always white folks) respond in one of these ways. So, it was a distinct surprise when a Beijinger heard my comment about being Iranian-American and followed it up with a monologue detailing his position on the country’s name. He couldn’t understand why the country was named Iran instead of Persia and why folks there would settle on a new name without historical significance.

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We sat at a bar near my complex, enjoying one of the many local craft beers. I was hoping for a quiet evening. He was looking for conversation. We chatted about beer. He started talking about the perceived hierarchy of Asian communities. I mentioned that there is something similar in the Middle East. And then he took that as a signal to give his Ted Talk.

Now, I know that both names have historical relevance to the country. But, I could neither tell him that nor get a word in edgewise. I let him meander because I wanted to be polite as a guest in his country.

When he finished, I checked my watch and told the man it was nice speaking with him, but it was time to head back home, which was precisely what I did after paying my tab.

This post isn’t meant as a complaint about white society or to slam this guy, but it is an observation like many of my other posts from my time here. It is a thing that can be annoying at times, but something that I must roll with as pointing it out in the moment that it happens may cause more problems than letting it ride. It is best to note it and find creative ways to disabuse them of their notions later on.